Understanding the Resistance

Getting your teenager into therapy can be a challenge. It’s common for teenagers to resist the idea of therapy. Adolescence is a period marked by the struggle for independence, identity formation, and a desire for privacy. When parents suggest therapy, teens may feel misunderstood, judged, or pressured, which can heighten their resistance. Understanding the reasons behind their reluctance is the first step in addressing it. Teens might fear being labeled as “crazy” or worry that therapy will focus solely on their faults. They might also be anxious about opening up to a stranger or concerned about confidentiality.

Recognizing these concerns can help parents approach the situation with empathy. Instead of framing therapy as a necessity due to the teenager’s problems, present it as a supportive tool to help them navigate life’s challenges. Explain that therapy isn’t about fixing them but about providing a safe space to explore their thoughts and feelings. Emphasizing the therapist’s role as a neutral and supportive guide can alleviate some of their apprehensions. Let them know that therapy is a common resource used by people of all ages to gain insight and support.

Open Communication and Involvement

Creating an open dialogue about therapy is crucial. Encourage your teenager to share their thoughts and feelings about the idea without interrupting or dismissing their concerns. This can help them feel heard and respected, reducing some of their resistance. Share your observations in a non-judgmental way, highlighting specific behaviors or events that prompted your suggestion. This can help them understand your perspective and see that your concern is rooted in love and care. For example, if you’ve noticed changes in their mood or behavior, gently explain how these observations have led you to consider therapy as a beneficial option.

Involving your teenager in the process of selecting a therapist can also empower them and increase their willingness to participate. Allow them to research different therapists, read reviews, or even participate in initial consultations. This gives them a sense of control and ownership over the decision. Additionally, you might consider offering to attend family therapy sessions initially, which can provide a supportive environment and demonstrate your commitment to working together. This collaborative approach can make the idea of therapy feel less like a punishment and more like a joint effort towards well-being.

Normalize and Destigmatize Therapy

One of the biggest barriers to therapy for teenagers is the stigma associated with mental health care. Normalize the concept of seeking help by sharing examples of well-known individuals who advocate for mental health or by discussing your own experiences with therapy if applicable. Highlight that just as people visit doctors for physical health issues, therapists are there to help with emotional and psychological well-being. This can help your teenager view therapy as a normal and beneficial part of self-care. Discussing mental health openly and without shame sets a positive example and can help shift their perspective.

It’s also important to address any misconceptions they may have about therapy. Explain that therapists are trained professionals who are there to listen without judgment and offer guidance. Reassure them that therapy sessions are confidential, and their privacy will be respected. By providing accurate information and dispelling myths, you can reduce some of the fear and uncertainty that contribute to their resistance. Clarify that therapy is not about labeling or diagnosing but about understanding themselves better and developing healthier coping mechanisms.

Be Patient and Persistent

Getting a resistant teenager into therapy is rarely a quick or straightforward process. It’s important to be patient and persistent. If your teenager initially refuses, don’t give up. Continue to express your concerns and the benefits of therapy in a calm and supportive manner. Avoid forcing the issue, as this can lead to further resistance. Instead, periodically revisit the conversation, especially during moments of calm or when they seem more receptive. Emphasize that your goal is their well-being and that you’re willing to support them in finding the right kind of help.

Sometimes, the resistance to therapy can be part of a broader issue of trust and communication within the family. Strengthening your relationship with your teenager by spending quality time together, actively listening, and showing unconditional support can create a more positive environment where they might feel more comfortable considering therapy. Remember, the goal is to guide them towards the decision rather than imposing it, fostering a sense of collaboration and mutual respect. Demonstrating consistent support and understanding can gradually build their confidence in seeking help.

Exploring Alternatives

If traditional therapy remains a hard sell, consider alternative approaches that might be more appealing to your teenager. For some, group therapy or peer support groups can feel less intimidating and more relatable. These settings allow teens to connect with others facing similar issues, reducing feelings of isolation and providing a sense of community. Online therapy can also be an attractive option, offering the convenience of sessions from home and the anonymity that might make opening up easier. These alternatives can provide a more flexible and comfortable way for your teenager to engage with therapeutic support.

Therapeutic activities such as art therapy, music therapy, or even sports and outdoor activities can be effective alternatives. These approaches can help teenagers express themselves and address their issues in a less formal setting. By being flexible and open to different types of therapeutic support, you increase the chances of finding an approach that resonates with your teenager and encourages them to engage in the healing process. For instance, if your teenager has a passion for music, exploring music therapy could be a way to bridge their interests with therapeutic benefits.

Building a Supportive Environment

Creating a supportive environment at home is essential in encouraging your teenager to consider therapy. Reinforce the idea that seeking help is a sign of strength and self-awareness, not a weakness. Celebrate small victories and progress, no matter how minor they may seem. Acknowledge their efforts to cope with their challenges and remind them that therapy is just one of many tools available to them. By maintaining a positive and encouraging atmosphere, you can help your teenager feel more comfortable and open to the idea of therapy.

Additionally, consider seeking support for yourself. Parenting a teenager, especially one who is struggling, can be incredibly challenging. Talking to a therapist, joining a support group for parents, or reading relevant literature can provide you with the tools and strategies to better support your teenager. By taking care of your own mental health, you set a positive example and can better navigate the complexities of encouraging your resistant teenager to seek therapy.

By understanding their resistance, communicating openly, normalizing therapy, being patient, exploring alternative approaches, and building a supportive environment, you can help your teenager see therapy as a valuable resource rather than a burden. This comprehensive approach can foster a sense of trust and collaboration, making it more likely that your teenager will engage in therapy and benefit from the support it offers.

At Belonging Partnership we work with children, adolescents’, and adults , paying special attention to communities that have experienced mental health inequity in order to deliver excellent therapy to the whole community.  At Belonging Partnership we are improving mental health equity by improving awareness, access, and allyship.  To learn more about Belonging Partnerships mission click here